Starting Over

I started Jason Miller’s Sorcery of Hekate course back in January.

Four weeks in, something happened in therapy that just exacerbated my depression, and I suddenly found myself with zero spoons for the course, and, between that and the stress of dealing with a big audit at work, moving offices, and my impending departure from that job for something better, at least on paper, I didn’t have the spoons to start again, nor did I care that I didn’t have the energy. (When I say the job is better on paper, I mean that I haven’t started it, yet, so I don’t know if I will like it or not. My training starts a week from now. Meanwhile, I’m on vacation.)

And this is one of my main issues with self-paced, self-motivated studies. I can drop off and pick up later. But this is an issue as you learn to build a relationship with a deity and any other associated beings via daily practice.

And so, I need something to keep myself at task and that adds accountability.

It’s not like I can journal about it on here, as the course is oathbound and the materials and some parts of the experiences cannot be shared with others who aren’t taking or haven’t taken the course.

But I am planning on starting over tonight, even if it means sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor with candles and incense to do the rite and mantra.